Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
did i just pee glitter
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
