I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize