If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
