Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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