we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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