We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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