if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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