Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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