I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
