i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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