I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
