Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
