He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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