im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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