Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
