just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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