Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
