she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
did you just send me my own nude
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
