I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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