I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
