You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you never un-have a 4some
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
