Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
