I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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