you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
