Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
