he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
