Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize