i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
