omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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