:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
