the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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