Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
True college students do jello shots in the library
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
