worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
