I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
love makes seman taste better
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
