so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
