at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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