a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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