I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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