summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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