and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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