We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This is the high leading the old right now
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
