First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
