I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I pour the whiskey from now on
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
