You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
