You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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