Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
worst night to have a conscience
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
