Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
