idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize