i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
