Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
