Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
