Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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