I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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