Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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