do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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