i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
