We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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