Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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