LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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