Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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