a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
