Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
