I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
