i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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