when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
