He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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