playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
